A Call From Jail
May 20, 2009 Now That's Funny
One night a few years ago I got the most unusual phone call that I’ve ever received at about 10:30 PM. I was soaking in the tub when the phone rang. (Yes, I have a phone in the bathroom.) Upon answering the telephone I found that it was a collect call from the county jail. I accepted the charges because they didn’t specify who it was. God forbid, it could have been a relative or close friend. Certainly, that’s what one would expect at that hour: a family member or close friend. I mean, who else would call at such an ungodly hour? You’re right, a tenant. Worse yet, it was a tenant who I paid $50 to move the day before her eviction hearing just last week! She was one of those who insisted she would stay until the last minute. Consequently, I paid her to save the additional $40 set-out fee, my court appearance, and avoided the 5-days plus it takes after receiving the court judgment. Furthermore, I wanted to save the aggravation had she appeared with a free lawyer and/or a continuance. This was, indeed, the same tenant who left the unit with two broken windows and in a pig sty condition. I even paid her brother $40 to remove the unit from debris. Once the call was connected I could hear yelling and echoing in the background. It was indeed the county jail. She said, “This is ………., I know you’ve probably never did a favor for anyone or helped anyone out, but I thought that I’d give you a call. I have a check for $120 on me right now. My bail is $120. If you bail me out, then I will sign this check and give it to you right when I come out. (I found it uncanny that she was sitting on a government check for that exact amount!) First of all, everyone knows that when you ask for a favor, you want someone to do something for you that is inconvenient to them. That’s why they call it a favor. It’s a hassle. Furthermore, one does favors for those he loves or cares about their well being. Favors are a way of showing love, likeness, and compassion. Second of all, everyone knows that the absolutely last thing that you want to do when asking for a favor is to insult someone like remarking: “I know you’ve probably never done a favor for anyone or helped anyone out before….” I mean, everybody knows these two basic social skills. Right? Well, evidently not. Thirdly, when tenants are evicted, they hardly expect to have contact with that landlord again. Common sense tells them that the landlord wants totally rid of them and will ruin their credit for seven years. Although this tenant violated all three laws of common sense, apparently she saw something in me that only few can imagine. I’ve been known to even surprise myself sometimes. Just last month I wrote a tear-jerker article about how I helped a poor mother’s three little girls with bags of clothing and toys right before Christmas. Even I was teary-eyed while I wrote it. Maybe I’m not the landlord from hell after all. Maybe I’m just misunderstood. Maybe I am capable of showing love and compassion beyond the common man. Maybe I’ve changed after all these years of being robotic-like. I’ll bet now you think I’m a wonderful human being and you’re wondering what I said to that woman. I replied, “You’re right, I don’t do favors for anyone. Sorry. Good-bye.” I abruptly hung up. Now that’s funny!
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